I met my husband online and we got married just a year after meeting. Where did we meet? Myspace. I know, it is ancient and many people don't know what that even is. I can tell you one thing, it was not a dating site, so the fact that we met, is amazing to me. I remember the feeling of anticipation, waiting for my then boyfriend to pop the question. We had only been dating for 4 months, but they felt like forever. I was never the type of person who believed in love at first sight. You know in Frozen how Elsa tells Anna she "Can't marry a guy she just met?", well, that was basically me. I knew the date I met my husband that I would marry him. We were both head over heels in love. Flash forward to proposal day and we were hit with so many questions. Many of which I had no answers to.
Here Are My Top 10 Tips of Things You Need to Know When You Are Newly Engaged
1. Enjoy Your Engagement Day
Savor the day as a couple! How and when should you let others know you are engaged? Tell people in the order you both decide. This way, there are less hurt feelings. Unfortunately, some people may feel upset they were not the first to know. The reality is that someone will have to be the first. Our first person we called was my Granny out of state. We then called my husbands parents (they knew it was proposal day hours before he popped the question), then we told my mom in person. It is important to gauge people's reactions and know if they are "call people" or "in person talk with people." My mom was a "sit down kind of talk person," knowing she would likely not be pumped that we didn't know each other long. After 15 years together, she loves my husband and has for a long time, so it all worked out.
2. Don't Feel Like You Need To Start Planning That Day, But You Should Start Sooner Rather Than Later...
Its ok to allow yourself some breathing room, time to enjoy just being together as a couple and have fun! Depending upon the season you plan to get married, you may have more time than you think. If you are not super specific about venue and details, you will have even more time to relax.
Did you know that some venues book our YEARS in advance? If you choose popular seasons like summer or fall in Minnesota, dates can book fast!
3. Pick a Season
Notice I said season and not date? Here is why, sometimes a special date will be super popular and can cost hundreds or thousands more to get married on that date. Do you love the changing fall leaves? If so, a Minnesota fall wedding would be gorgeous with all the beautiful colors. September and October are becoming more and more popular. I think it has to do with the cooling temperatures in both Wisconsin and Minnesota. Do you love summer and want to have your ceremony on a lake in Minnesota? Maybe you would love a winter wedding in beautiful, historic downtown Stillwater. If you choose to get married in winter, you may have more options. It gives a whole new meaning to a "White Wedding."
If you do have a set date in mind, please just know you may have limited choices.
4. Pick a Location Type
Do you love the outdoors and have it set that you say your vows in the beautiful sunshine off Lake Minnetonka? Do you want to have a destination wedding wedding to Mexico or somewhere away from your home state? Do you dream of a barn wedding with gorgeous rolling hills? Do you want to get married in a place that is geographically close for all your guests? Try and think about your top priority when it comes to location. Is the ambiance important to you?
5. Establish a Budget
It is no longer customary for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding. Many times it is fully the couple's responsibility. If you are close to your parents, it would be best to let them know you are establishing your budget. Now, depending upon your relationship with your parents, this could be awkward, but you could ask if they had any plans to contribute to the wedding in any way. Of course you will want to be respectful and let them know you don't expect anything, but would love to calculate any funds into the budget for planning purposes. Some people opt of of talking with family and just count anything family gives as a bonus.
Some couples choose to take out loans or pay for part or all of the wedding with a credit card. I highly suggest if you do this, to do so with caution. You don't want to go into your marriage with piles of debt. If you do chose to use a credit card, I recommend opening a joint card that is only used for wedding expenses. It is super beneficial to get one that earns point or miles. I personally love the Delta American Express card because you earn miles and get a sign up bonus just for opening the card. Their interest rates are usually on the lowers side. Delta lets you check bags for free for each member of your party who files with you! (If you apply via the link posted here, I do get a small referral bonus.) Plus, if you plan to fly for your honeymoon, you have points to use toward your flight.
6. Contact Venues and Schedule a Tour
Once you have your season and venue type selected, start researching specific venues that fit your budget. Most venues in Minneapolis/St. Paul do not publish their rates, so it is best to call and let them know you are working with a specific budget. Make sure you ask what is all included with the venue. Sometimes, it is literally just the venue, no chairs or decor. Many have food and beverage minimums too. Others require you only hire vendors from their vendor list.
Talk with friends and relatives to see their experiences with certain venues. Google reviews is always a great way to see people's views of a particular venue. Visit the venue's website, Instagram and Facebook pages to see a variety of ideas for how their venue can be set up. Sometimes, it can be hard to visualize how things look on a wedding day.
Email or call the event or venue manager to set up a meeting to visit the facility. Usually, you would need to do this on a weekday as most venues are booked for weddings and events on weekends.
7. Book Your Venue and Set The Date
Before you select the date, it is helpful to check in with your family to ensure that it is a date that works for people you for sure want to have at your wedding. You need to book the venue for a specific date. You cannot usually just leave an open ended deposit. It has to be reserved for a specific date. Once you do this, the venue coordinator will likely give you a preferred vendor list that shows their recommended caterers/decorators/officiants.
8. Book Your Photographer
As a professional wedding photographer in the Twin Cities, I cannot stress this tip enough. Photographers book out years in advance as well. I suggest looking at various types of wedding photography and narrowing down what you like. Do you like light colored images or dark or moody. I personally specialize in candid and posed shots that are edited true to color. This means that if you spent thousands on gorgeous emerald green details, they will look green, not neon or muddy green.
What things are important to you when it come to photos? What do you plan to use the images for? What is included with your coverage? If you chose an all day wedding package with Angela Doherty Photography LLC, you will receive an heirloom album so you can pass your wedding images down through the generations.
How soon do you want your images? Many photographers have a 8 week turnaround. I have a 4 week gallery delivery window so you can enjoy your images by your one month wedding anniversary! I also include a sneak peak teaser social media reel!
You will want to make sure you ask your photographer their payment methods and payment schedule. I personally require a 50% retainer to book your date. The remaining balance is due 4 weeks before the wedding. Plus, I offer the option to pay securely via credit card (without additional processing fees) so you can earn those reward miles.
9. Create Pinterest Boards
Organization is super important here. Create categories like: rings, dresses, bridal party dresses, groom attire, groomsmen, wedding colors, decor ideas, shoes, jewelry, honeymoon, caterers, venues, wedding photos, and anything else that fits your vibe.
Share your board with anyone who will be helping you plan your day. This could be family, an attendant, close friend and your wedding planner.
10. Schedule Your Engagement Session
Being that photographers book out so quickly, it is never too soon to book your engagement session. It is a good idea to book your engagement session with your wedding photographer so you have a chance to work together and you can get a feel for what poses and images you like best. Think of it as a fun trial run before the big day.
If you book a 6 hour or more wedding collection with Angela Doherty Photography LLC, you receive a complimentary engagement session with a fast turn around time!
Talk with your photographer to ensure you get your session in during the season you want most. You will want to allow time to create and send out your Save The Date Cards.
There are so many more tips I have to share with you, but once you get to tip 10, you should have most of the "hard" stuff out of the way. Now comes the fun and extra details.
I would love to know if you found these tips helpful. If so, feel free to reach out or comment below what your most useful tip was.
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